Litigation is usually reserved for:

  • those couples who can not, or are not willing, to seek common ground. Sometimes a partner has no interest, or ability to collaborate in a joint process with you.
  • those who want the judge to decide, and feel it a burden to steer the process themselves.
  • those who have a strong desire to “be taken care of” and imagine that a litigating attorney “fighting” for them is the same as “being taken care of”.
    Photo By Joy Dryer
    Photo By Joy Dryer
  • those able and willing “to go to court”, and to pay their attorneys to sit and to wait in court, and to argue their case before a judge.
  • those who want to get as much as they can, no matter what the cost (financial, emotional). It is common for people to try to compensate for their sense of loss, hurt, betrayal by wanting the other partner “to pay”. Especially when counseled [by friends, family, or even an attorney] “to get all you ‘deserve’”. Even when a litigating attorney assures you that “under the current law, I can get (X) for you”, I’ve seen two smart and reasonable attorneys disagree about what the law is!