Divorce Options

How to Choose the best one for you

1) The 4 Divorce Options

The type of separation/divorce process that you choose is crucial. The details of the specific divorce method will determine how you and your family will live going forward.

In my role as Divorce Consultant we discuss each of the processes, the advantages and disadvantages of each, and help you to work through what you value most.


There is a spectrum of increasing costs in time, money, and emotional stress, as you move from the Kitchen Table, Mediation, Collaborative Divorce to the Litigating process.

  • Kitchen Table
    You may be in a marriage, or a domestic partnership. You can sit together at your kitchen table and discuss the issues.
  • Mediation
    The Coach and Attorney act as Co-Mediators. We are both neutral and can inform you but can not give you legal advice. You each hire your own review attorney to represent you during the mediation process.
  • Collaborative Divorce
    This is a Team process: an attorney for each of you, a neutral coach, a neutral financial expert, and sometimes a child specialist.
    Please note: Mediation and Collaborative Divorce (see separate pages) are
    “Alternative Dispute Resolution” (ADR’s) processes, i.e. “alternatives” to a Litigated Divorce, because all professionals disqualify themselves from ever going to court.
  • Litigation
    If you prefer a judge to decide your case, we will select a litigating attorney for each of you who will represent you in court. Learn More

2) Define Your Values

  • In our work together, we emphasize your personal values on the one hand, and the values on which Mediation and Collaborative Divorce are founded.

3) Benefits Of Mediation and Collaborative Divorce

  • YOU both make the decisions [not a judge]. Your interests steer the process.
  • Both processes emphasize your personal values which guide your interests in deciding the outcome.
  • Both processes operate on values intrinsic to their approach.
  • These de-emphasize your conflicts, and focus on your common ground and “interests”.
  • A specialized team, involving several professionals, who work together for your benefit. 
  • Lower cost in time, money, and emotional stress (and distress).


4) Couples Psychotherapy

  • is one of the formats my therapy practice offers to you.
    [See www.psychotherapyworksny.com].
  • Occasionally a couple will come into my office and one or both people are unsure if separating is their next best step. In this case, if both are willing, several “therapy” oriented sessions may help each person to make a clearer decision, and to move forward with less ambivalence.